I've been lying to you....
I've been lying to you....
By now if you have had a session with me, or you follow my work closely, you know I do what I do to help empower women, to help them love themselves, to help them embrace their bodies exactly as they are. I don't allow, "well maybe if I lose a few pounds..." or "Well I love my body, except for these stretch marks". If you say something like that during a session with me we will talk about how amazing your body is with those curves or how you earned those stretch marks. My goal is for your to leave loving EVERY. SINGLE. INCH. of your body.
But here is the thing... I have been lying to you, and myself. I can talk until I am blue in the face about body positivity and embracing what you have and loving it. I do it all the time. I help women truly understand they are gorgeous. But, after all these years, I haven't been able to do it for myself.
I have said to you, "love those 'extra' pounds, they give you the most amazing hips!" while secretly hoping you don't notice my hips are bigger than yours.
I have said to you, "those stretch marks are visual evidence that you made another human. That is powerful!", while trying to figure out if my own will ever fade.
I have said to you, "Of course you will look good in that 2 piece set, your body will look great in anything!", while planning to throw out all my 2 piece bathing suits because my "mom-bod" just isn't what it used to be.
I have been living with insecurity about my body for years. Haven't most of us? I mean, I have never had a woman come in for a session who was 100% confident in her body. NEVER. There has always been something that she wanted to hide, or exaggerate, or something she just wishes was a little bit different, a little more like it used to be, maybe a little more like someone else.
But, I am done with that. DONE! Time to start walking the walk. I know my road to loving my body is going to be long. But it will be worth it. So I decided to start the journey the best way I know how: a boudoir session of course. I decided to focus on the parts of my body I am most uncomfortable facing: my butt and my stomach. After the session, I felt a little different. While editing "Look at by booty!", "I love that curve!" and "I can't wait to do another one!" were the thoughts running through my head. Seeing myself like this was so good for me, for my self-esteem. I haven't seen my body this way in a long time: that it IS beautiful and those curves ARE amazing! This isn't the end of my journey, but its an amazing start.
Here is a little sample of my own boudoir session.